June 24th, 2009


(no subject)

Okay.  I know what I had.  And I know what I had is serious.  Pneumonia doesn't just go away.

But it needs to.  It really needs to.

I'm sick of keeping it a secret that I'm up all night coughing.  I'm tired of not sleeping and not eating properly and telling everyone I'm fine when I am definitely not.  I'm sick of the aches and pains and fatigue and headaches and the neverending loop of thoughts that's always in my head, always loud and never giving me a second's peace.  I'm sick of being sick.

It takes a long time to get over pneumonia with the best care, and I didn't even stay in the hospital.  I was told that I'd be clearing out my lungs for at least another few weeks after the worst was over, but I didn't know the other symptoms would stick.  I haven't fallen asleep before 3 a.m. in weeks.

I'm going crazy.  I need this to be over by now.  I need to be back to how I used to be.

I need to be healthy again.

God only knows when that'll be.

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